How to Pack on 10-15 Real Solid Pounds Over the Holidays!

We know you were looking for some ways to pack on a few extra pounds over the next few weeks... so here you go!
  1. Before the office party, eat plenty of carbohydrates and alcoholic or sugary drinks. Do this as soon as you get to the party as well so that your ability to control your eating is long past.  Don’t eat anything that might contain fat or protein to help balance the effects of the carbs.  Don’t eat a piece of salami with some cheese and an olive on it.  That will slow your insulin down too much and you won’t be able to gain as quickly as you’d hoped you would be able to.
  2. Every time you eat one of your favorite peanut butter blossoms, make sure to add another Hershey’s kiss that fell off one of the other cookies. Don’t look for avocado or a fatty piece of meat to help with the cravings and excitement of the occasion. Seriously, we don’t want your insulin balancing out at all.
  3. Give yourself permission to say ‘yes’ and ‘yes please, another helping’.
  4. Make sure that you spend lots of time with the people that encourage you to over-eat and over-drink so that you know exactly who to call true friends. These folks are easy to spot in your life because they may know that some people may not want to be gaining weight over the holidays but that surely isn’t you.
  5. Those same friends will hopefully not allow you to go home at a descent hour and strain your immune system because you aren’t going to be able to get the sleep that you need. Luckily, they’ll be there tomorrow night too at the next party or bar waiting to do it all over again.  Don’t worry that this stress wrecks the immune function and that you lose the most weight when you sleep.  Who needs sleep.
  6. Over-commit the entire season so that you can stay up late every night between Thanksgiving and Christmas then most assuredly through New Years’. Say yes to every possible event and tell yourself ‘YOLO’ every chance you get.  Ya, go ahead and get that stress up there where the weight can easily increase and you can then add adrenal exhaustion to your Christmas list too.
  7. Make sure to wait to shop for Christmas too. Don’t even think about online shopping!  You go straight to the nearest Walmart or Target on Black Friday.  Get up at 2 am so that you’re 109th in line standing in 15 degree cold night air.  Make sure to practice #5 above to really have a good sore throat coming on as you stand there for the hopeful chance to wrestle with a large human being for this years’ cabbage patch kid or play station game.  After that, go to the mall and over-spend on your loved ones.  Yes, the same bunch that can’t remember what they got last year or last month for that matter.  Ah yes!  Crank the table vise on more crank for the real meaning of Christmas!
  8. Make a budget and don’t stick to it. Don’t pay off last years’ holiday credit card debt but instead, spend enough that you’ll just be able to make your minimum payments in perpetuity.
  9. Focus as much as possible on the commercial aspects of the season so that you can find great examples of giving less, horde more, eat more and drink more. Make sure to totally reject all of the traditions that your grand -parents and possibly your parents tried to bestow upon you.  You’re way to intellectual for all of that.
  10. Weigh yourself on January 2nd and you should’ve gained at least 10 to 15lbs and are ill and exhausted. Congrats on a job well done.
  11. Or…do the opposite of all the above. You’ll like yourself a lot more in the end and you’ll not have to dig yourself out of “I’m bigger than I want to be again’ hole.
  12. We at Skinny Up!® encourage balance in life. We use strategies that allow you to navigate joyous yet tough seasons of the year and come out on the other side better and more empowered to treat yourself well.  We realize it’s difficult to remain vigilant and guard against all those seasonal temptations.  We encourage you to make better food choices, balancing the sweet with the nutritious, and balancing the season emotionally so that you’re not a gallon into the eggnog before you know what happened.  You’re worth it!

Leave a comment

All comments are moderated before being published

Shop now